| | I thought that's some time has passed since my supposed return to Xanga and I have yet to write a real blog. And now prolly isn't much different. I have something to say but at the same time I have nothing to say. It's like there is so much but none of it is fully formed and I'm afraid if it comes out it will stay that way- unformed and 90% bullshit. I need to just type shit out in Word documents again. Pen and paper just don't do it for me right now. And after I have tried to get all my writing into binders, a project that would be pretty simple to finish and yet I have not gotten around to it, I really don't want to have to do anything to to add to the mess. It's easier on the computer. Or in other words it is easier to be a mess on my computer but not annoy whatever random sensibilities I have.
Speaking of which, I spent most of last night and today organizing my iTunes library on my laptop. I have added something like 4 Gigs of music and made sure everything is labeled correctly and with artwork. I have also begun to synchronize it with my desktop. Yet there are many more productive activities I could be doing. The number one thing would be getting my sleep schedule somewhere closer to human. Right now is between bear and vampire. I either seem to be hibernating or staying up for over 19 hours. What that really indicates to me is my general lack of producing as of late. Partly it is due to my recent illness which I am still trying to shake off and I don't want to exert too much in fear of it returning.
The other part is my return to this liminal state. Between being freelance and being duly employed. For a good 2-3 weeks I felt pretty sure about what I was doing. Now this other opportunity has possibly opened up. If it definitely opens up then I'm in. No prob. Taking door number 2 will greatly decrease the number of open projects I have and allow me too concentrate on my passions. But in the meantime . . . what the fuck do I do? So far I have chosen avoidance but I think that will only take me as far as next Wednesday when I get bored again. I can only organize shiznit so much before I actually have to work.
I think the real key is to concentrate on my passions which will be there no matter what course happens to open up. Then I won't blow deadlines or flop big time. And I can be real person and not just playing dress-up.
But it really does hinge on getting a good and consistent sleep schedule. I guess it will be up to the Italian Job to lull me to sleep again. I don't know what it is about that movie, I like it and all, but it consistently puts me to sleep. Same with the theatrical version of LOTR: Two Towers. Maybe I'll put that in for a change of pace. Last night I tried music, my easy listening playlist, but that led to the whole iTunes reorganize. Let's see how it all goes.
That's my real motto: I don't know, let's see how it all goes tomorrow. |
| | Posted 8/27/2008 11:57 PM - 4 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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